I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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