How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
