drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
