Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
