Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
