I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
