We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
