She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
