I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
