Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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