it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
