i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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