I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
