there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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