i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize