It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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