Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
