So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
