His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
