Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
