i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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