Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
