just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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