okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
