Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize