Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
