FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
