Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize