i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
