My nipple is on Facebook.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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