The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he was CRYING into my vagina
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
