I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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