Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
