Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize