Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
