she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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