at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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