Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
