i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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