Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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