Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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