i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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