But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
