Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
