U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
