turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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