Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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