I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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