We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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