I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
