just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
