They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i've created a new STD.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just puked most of my soul out..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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