You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
