Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
