smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i need some magic done to my vagina
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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