I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
