if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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