I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
