You work out of a Hotel?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
