ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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