I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
