what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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