Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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