hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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