why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
