Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
