this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
